A blessing or a curse?

Thats how I sometimes feel about my lap-band.

Take today for example, for some reason I thought that I would be able to have an egg and a 1/2 piece of toast before noon. Not really a good idea it turns out! Its not the egg or the toast, its the time of day I wanted them! Oh well, I was looking for an excuse to have a protein drink for lunch today and I will be getting that excuse in about 5 minutes when I let my lap-band have its way with me. Yep...egg and toast will be making a reappearance momentarily folks!

I just told my husband to "gently remind me" the next time that I want breakfast to have it for dinner instead!

Thanksgiving is over and it really was such a non-eating event for me. Thank you band! Or maybe its thank you Jacquie? I have finally started to make me a priority and it feels great.

We spent Thanksgiving with Peggy and her family. It was so weird for me being there without my dad. Peggy had a candle burning to represent my fathers memory....I kind of lost it when she told me that. We got through the day and made the 4 hour drive home.

As I've said before, this has been the absolute worst year of my life and also the best year of my life. Talk about a conflict, huh? Losing my father and brother-in-law, especially the way that we lost them, has been the most traumatic thing that's every happened to me and my whole family.

My father would be so proud of what I have accomplished this year, losing almost 45 lbs. so far. I can feel him cheering me on and pushing me to do what I set out to do. I swear, sometimes I think its him talking to me when in fact, its Steve. When I first started dating Steve, Mallory, my oldest daughter, told me that Steve reminded her of her grandpa, my dad. I thought she was nuts but funny enough, since my fathers death, I too am beginning to see many similarities and it is very comforting to me. Weird, right?

I honestly don't know where I was going with this post as it is all over the place.

Christmas is the next "big one" we have to get through. My sister, mother and niece are visiting for 4 days beginning 12/9 and than Steve and I are flying to NY on 12/21for a week. A year ago, we were driving to NY for Christmas and got caught in the blizzard that brought I95 to a complete halt for 2 days. It took us 3 days to get there, it normally takes 1 day! Steve swore that he would never go to NY in the winter again. Ha! What a man I married. A few tears and off we are going to NY. I told him there was no way I could expect my family to travel to FL for Christmas and we needed to all be together this year. Not a problem he said, but can we please fly?

We started to decorate today and I am glad we did. Originally, I wasn't going to even put up a tree seeing as we aren't going to be home for Christmas. Plans changed when my sister told me she was coming and then we found out that some of Steves family are flying down on 12/28, the day after we get home. So the fun has begun...tomorrow will be the tree. I will post pics when its all done.

Thanksgiving

I have been reading blogs about how Thanksgiving is going to be a challenge because of the way we have learned to eat since being banded and how much food is a part of Thanksgiving, blah, blah, blah. I too have thought about how much more I "used" to love Thanksgiving and this year will be different.

Thanksgiving used to be all about the food for me. This year, not so much. Steve and I are spending Thanksgiving with my step-mother Peggy and her family here in Florida. It will be so hard for me to go there and not have my Dad greet me at the door with "hello beautiful" and a great big hug.

I do, however, have a whole new appreciation for Thanksgiving and what I am thankful for. I am thankful that I will have my husband by my side sharing the holidays with me. Everytime I start to think about what food I wont' be eating this year, I just have to think about my sister and Peggy and what they don't have this year. It really puts things into perspective for me. They can eat all the pie and breadstuffing they want but they won't have their men by their side, ever again.

I may not get a chance to post again before Thanksgiving so I wanted to make sure that I had the chance to wish you all a happy and healthy Thanksgiving!

Forgot to mention in my last post....

I WEIGH LESS THAN MY HUSBAND!!!!!! O.M.G. Major scale victory as this was a very big goal for me! I cannot believe I forgot to mention this when it happened. My next goal is to leave him in my weight dust! (Sorry, Stephen, love ya but don't want to weigh more than you!)

Thank you to everyone who commented on my pics from that post. I have NEVER in my life been referred to as TINY! Thank you Joey!

I went to see Dr. D. today and he removed .1 cc of my fill. I am praying that it is enough as I still feel a little tight but I will be patient and respectful of my band. I have lost 11.4 lbs since my last visit to him on 9/16/10. I also explained how my cycle seems in transition or something as I haven't had a (.) since 9/20 and he explained that I am probably retaining water due to hormonal changes and that can be the reason why my band has gotten tighter. Makes sense I guess.

I am having a poached egg for dinner tonight and can't wait to see how it goes down. Last night we went to a Roger Waters concert(lead singer of Pink Floyd) and we stopped at Panera Bread for dinner. I ordered a Cream of Chicken soup and got stuck after 2 spoonfuls! We are talking pure creamy broth here, no chicken on that spoon! Ok, so later on at the concert I am HUNGRY (all I had all day was a protein shake and less than 1/3 cup yogurt) so I decided to buy a chocolate chip cookie. It went right down without a problem. Is this fair? No, its a cruel joke if you ask me!

Speaking of protein shakes, why is it that I finally find the best taking protein shake and it gives me diarrhea every single time I drink it? Mind you, when I make ice cream with it, its fine. Again, a very cruel joke. Its Max Protein and I have it in chocolate, vanilla and cookies and cream. Each flavor is delish but I now only drink it when I do not have anywhere to go outside the house! Not fair! Does anyone else have this problem?

Lucy!!! I'm Home!!!

We got home at almost 2 am this morning from our vacation to Sandals Emerald Bay!

What a week....we did NOTHING and it felt so good! It was our first Sandals vacation and while we didn't care for the food (many others didn't either) we got exactly what we thought we were getting....a great beach and a gorgeous pool to lay around every day.

And did I mention the Butler service? Well, we had two butlers at our beck and call every day! It was a little over the top actually. I was hanging out about 50 feet from the pool bar and asked for a bottle of water...the response was..."you have to call your Butler for that"! So, I started bringing about 3-4 bottles from my room out to the pool/beach with me because I just thought it was crazy to have him come from the other side of the resort to get water for me that was within spitting distance of where I was sitting! Our Butler Stephen said we were the least maintenance of all the guests he's ever had and the maid told me one day we had the neatest room of all her rooms! They offered to unpack our suitcases when we got there and I was all "no way someone is gonna be touching my undies!"

The week went very fast and my band NEVER loosened up. As I sit here typing this, my dinner of a few bites of scrambled egg is threatening to come up. Earlier, I had a few spoonfuls of yogurt and I did manage to get down a protein shake...thats it! The good news is I lost 2.6 lbs while there. I am now down to 171. Unfortunately, this crazy band of mine is really making me nuts! My last fill was on 9/16/10 and now its tight? Crazy. Anyway, I called my doctor and i will be going to get a little taken out on Wed. This tightness really started a week before we left for Vegas so I know its not really vacation related so I don't want to start the cycle of just eating sliders so I am going to ask for .1 or .2 cc's to be taken out.

Thats it for tonight, I am exhausted! The following are a few pics from Sandals:

blogging from Bahamas Mon!

I am so frickin tight! WTF? PBing at least once a day and today twice. I am having a shake for dinner and again tomorrow for breakfast. I know I am swollen because my chest is so sore and I swear I can feel my stoma.

Weather is great and we came back to out room after a day in the sun to a drawn bubble bath filled with flowers in and all around the tub. Steve stuck his foot in and yelped like a dog it was so hot. I guess they figured it would cool down by the time we got back. Poor Steve. I told him he should feel lucky he didn't sit down fast :)

I will have pics to post when we get home.

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I need my fix!

It is really scary how much I miss reading blogs when I am away. It really is an integral part of my journey and I have to thank each and every one of you for helping me along the way!

We got home from Vegas this morning at 2:30 a.m. It was a very fast 5 days and I am exhausted! We had such a great time though, it was worth it. We saw Le Reve' at the Wynn on Tues. night and it was awesome! The other show we saw was Phantom of the Opera and I have to say that it was Steve who wanted to see it, not me. We have seen it on Broadway and I just didn't think Vegas could do it justice. Wrong! The show was even more powerful this time around. I truly enjoyed seeing it and would recommend it to everyone who has the opportunity to go see it.

We did our share of eating....Enoteca Otto Pizzeria, a Mario Batali restaurant, Trattoria Reggiano, Zefferino's (all at the Venetian). The first Enoteca Otto Pizzeria is on 1st Ave. and 8th St. in NYC and we have eaten there many times. Steve will always say, its the best $80 pizza you'll ever eat. Ok, so its not inexpensive but man is it good. The Vegas outlet did not disappoint at all. In fact, I always have the Romano Pizza (I think thats what its called, it has romano cheese and a sunny side up egg on it. Sounds gross but its not!) in NYC and I did not see it on the menu. I asked the waiter about it and he said they make that occasionally as a special. He asked the Chef if he'd make it for me and he did! It was delish.

The best news is that I lost 1.4 lbs while we were there!

Here are the only two Vegas pics we took together:

Doesn't my Steve have the most gorgeous blue eyes? This may be the last pic of him with his goatee as he is talking about shaving it on vacation....we'll see.





Tomorrow we are leaving for our Sandals at Emerald Bay Resort vacation. We will be gone for a week and I am hoping to be a complete beach bum! With a little luck, I will come back weighing the same as when I leave. That is always my wish for vacations and when I lose, well, let me tell you, that is truly a gift! I'll take it though!

I promise to take lots of pics at the resort!

Vegas Baby!

We got here last night at about 8 p.m. pacific time and the hotel was so crowded because of the SEMA Trade show and there were not that many rooms left! So, we were upgraded to a suite. Holy Cannoli! This suite is HUGE! I wish we had friends with us. This is the first time we've ever stayed here and I have to say, the Wynnn is gorgeous.

We unpacked and started to explore the hotel a bit and ended up at a NY Style Deli for something to eat as I was starving! We ordered a pastrami sandwich to share and I picked at some meat, no bread. I ate maybe 1/4 of the meat of my 1/2 of sandwich and got stuck. Steve happily ate his half and the rest of mine plus the delicious cole slaw that came with it. Earlier in the day I had a FF Plain Greek yogurt and than at the airport I attempted to eat 1 piece of a chicken select from McDonalds. No go, stuck again. All in all, not a good day for eating. However, I did get in all my water which was a major accomplishment!

Steve left me this morning at 7 to go to his car show thing and I went to the gym. I am now back in the room drinking my protein shake and getting ready to shower and start my day. I plan on doing more exploring and than off to the Fashion Mall across the street. There is also a Sephora at the Venetian that I will be visiting today. I will probably get something mushy for lunch because I don't want a repeat of yesterday. Depending on my mood, I may end up at the pool for a while this afternoon as Steve will not be back until 5.

Tonight we are going next door to the Venetian for dinner at Mario Batal's restaurant and than we have tickets for Le Reve at the Wynn at 9:30. I swear that these Las Vegas vacations are my husbands favorite. He was like a little boy this morning all excited about the car show.

Ok, off to take a shower!