Ok, where do I start?

I guess I will start with the easy stuff and work my way up from there.

Steve and I spent the last 5 days visiting with our children, sister and family as last Wednesday marked the 1 year anniversary of the death of my dad and brother-in-law.  We had a memorial service for them but other than that, it was just another "first" that we got through.  Nothing more to report other than we are all 'ok' and life really does go on.

The day before we left for NY I had an appt. with my Dr. for a fill.  It was quite surreal in retrospect actually.  He comes in the room, sits down and almost immediately tells me that his opinion is that my band has failed me and that he attributes my willpower and determination for my weight loss this past year and not the band!   I think at this point, the blood drained out of my face and I started to cry!

Let me interject that my Dr. has told me in the past that he doesn't think I will ever get to a point with restriction where I will just be on auto-pilot.  Basically for the past year the cycle has been,  get a fill, I am fine and than my body swells, the band becomes too tight, I get unfilled, I am too loose, I go back for a fill and the process repeats itself.  I know this is not the way I imagined life with my band.  He went on to tell me that he will continue to take care of me and do the cycle but he just doesn't think its fair to me to have to go see him every month like I do for fills/unfills.  He is right of course.

He has brought up  Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy (VSG) many times in the past but the thought of surgery, again, has always deterred me from really seriously considering it.  However, this time, when he brought it up, it was my husband who really convinced me that I should consider this as an alternative.  My doctor believes that my band will have to come out eventually and if I wait until a crisis, such as I had in January, I may end up needing emergency surgery to have it removed or at the very least, all the fluid removed.  With all the swelling that was involved, I would have to wait to have another surgery for the VSG and who knows how much weight I might gain in the mean time if that happened. This is my biggest fear (isn't it everyones?) band is removed and all the weight comes back.  I refuse for that to happen.

So, after much research and soul-searching, I have an appt. to have VSG surgery on 6/24.  I am scared because it is a much more invasive surgery than the band was but I think in the long-run, I will be able to enjoy my life at a healthy BMI and not have to be consumed with counting calories, fills/unfills for the rest of my life.  I so wanted to get to goal and be able to maintain my fill level like so many others but it isn't happening.  Once I get past the surgery and healing phase of VSG, I think I will be able to do just that.

Also, another perk for me will be that I will be able to sleep on my left side again.  Something that since getting the band has eluded me due to my port being on that side.  I honestly don't know if it's just me, but sleeping in that position always causes pain/soreness, especially, the thinner I get.  It will be a welcomed change, that is for sure.

Anyway, because of this new development, I wanted to privatize my blog because there are some people in my private life whom I would just assume didn't know about the revision to VSG.  I have told some friends about the band but would prefer to just tell those friends and family that need to know and not have to explain myself to others who don't really understand why I had WLS in the first place.

So, please humor me when I am talking about VSG but always know that I am a life-long member of BOOB's!  Nothing will ever change that!