This is the first Christmas in a very long time that I have not sent out cards. I tried, really hard to get into the "spirit" of Christmas by decorating my home, shopping for gifts and baking cookies. The cards, I could not do. You want to know what I realized throughout this "getting into the spirit thing"? Its all BS! The "spirit" I was looking for will never be there again. Everything changed for me on 5/11/10 and there is nothing from before that I can ever expect to be the same because two very important people in our life were violently taken from us.
This doesn't mean that I will never have the Christmas spirit again, it just means that what was normal for us and me specifially, will be different going forward. Our family is looking for the new "normal" as things will never be what they were. We lost our innocence on that day, you know what I mean? The "something like that never happens to our family" kind of thing. One day at a time, that is what I keep preaching to my sister, one day at a time.
So, even though I wasn't up to cards this year, Brutus was and was all set to go with his antlers on! Sorry, my little furbaby, I promise you'll get your Christmas card next year!
Dinner last night was fantabulous! They ordered Eggplant Rollatini as an appetizer for the table and I tasted Steves. Delish! For my entre I orded Veal Osso Buco which I shared with my Steve and my neighbor Steve! That was just falling off the bone delish! Than, both couples ordered the S'mores Bread pudding! Oh.My.Lanta!!!! I actually left the restaurant with the recipe which will be deadly if I ever make it! Uh, turns out there is no bread in this "bread pudding"....can you say Krispy Kreme Glazed Donuts?!?! Who knew? Well, now that I know, unfortunately, i may never be eating this again! Sometimes, ignorance is really bliss!
B: Click protein shake with skim milk
L: 2 hard boiled eggs
S: S.E.I Chocolate mounds protein shake
D: 4 oz NY Strip Steak with spinach
S: Klondike Slim Bear Bar
Calories: 870
Protein: 87
11 comments:
(((Jacquie))), the first year after such a loss really is the hardest. We didn't "do" much of Christmas last year, just went through the motions and were glad when it was over. This year my spirit is coming back, ever-so-slowly, and I'm reminded of how much my mom loved the holidays. In a way, I'm doing it for her. I do miss her terribly, though, every single day..*nothing* will ever be quite the same again.
big hugs to you..
I was at a party last night and I was talking about what had happened to your family. I cannot imagine the pain and sorrow all of you must be going through. My heart goes out to you. I lost my mom 8 years ago and Christmas has never been the same for me either. I do understand. I am glad you will be with your family though. The picture is adorable and that dessert sounds like it could put you in a coma!
All the best... I make an awesome Krispy Kreme Bread Pudding with the Rum Sauce that Paula Deen suggests. Tastes great, and killed more people than Jeffery Dahmer..
I totally get the Christmas thing. I don't think that the tree would have even made it up here had it not already been. I almost feel like it is wrong to show joy by turning on the lights on the house. I know that Christmas in my family is forever changed. Feel fortunate that you still have a lot of family to be with! {HUGS}
Jacquie,
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's difficult to find a balance again, because everything is changed-- it takes a lot of time. But new traditions will be created out of what is left behind, and they will also be joyful and fulfilling, in their own time, even though we never forget those who are gone. My best to you and your family!
Hugs to you J. Brutus is looking fab in the antlers! Love it!
Thinking of you and Steve... and the rest of your family. Hang in there my friend... and maybe share that recipe??? If nothing else, I would love to hear how it was made... looks DELICIOUS!!!
SIGH....christmas spirit....for me it never came back, at least not in the same way. But I try to find other ways to get it going...I won't lie and say that it isn't hard, but I will tell you that it will change. :-) xoxo Thinking of you!
Here's hoping every day gets a little easier and that eventually you will delight in the Christmas season...if for no other reason then do it for Brutus...I love him...and his Mom.
I'm thinking of you and your family these days. I hope each day is easier than the last. And that is serious food porn - holy cow!! I'm not sure I'd want to know how to make that.
Happy Holidays Sunshine!
Hope its a blessed one...
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