159.6 today and a little something about my Dad

I think its a fluke though because I am suddenly so tight that I even called the surgeons office to make an appt. for an unfill. I am going in on Monday...I hope I can make it! I have not had a fill since September and then had .1 taken out in November when I suddenly got tight and now two months later I think .1 cc needs to come out. I have had tightness on and off since November but there was usually flying to and from somewhere involved. Over Christmas I was either wide open or not able to drink water. It calmed down since and then this week, two days ago, its starting all over again. The difference this time is that I am having reflux issues that I never had before and that concerns me big time! So, a little unfill is in order.

I was still excited this morning to see a weight beginning with a 15! The last time I saw a '15' in my weight, it was preceeded with a 2! Very cool for me even if I do bounce back to the 160's I will still know that it is right there! I am going to stay on liquids for today also. I was fine yesterday until last night when I decided to have a little ice cream. No go. PB'd. Ice cream! Really? That's when I knew I have to get some out. This is not how I want to lose weight.

On another note, I haven't really talked about this here on my blog but with the death of my Dad and BIL last year, there was also a very large insurance settlement that was split between their two estates I am heading over to the office of the attorney who handled this for us to pick up my fathers portion as I am the executor of his estate.

I have very mixed emotions about this money. My father was not rich by any means but he was very ok financially. Always had a fairly new Cadillac, a very new motorcycle, vacationed 2-3 times a year in Vegas or a cruise and had money in the bank. He would always tell my sister and I that our inheritance when he died would be a little money left over and the fact that he didn't ask us for money when he was alive! He really lived a good life and more important, he enjoyed every day of his retirement which is more than a lot of people can say. He died at age 80 doing what he loved to do. If he were here and knew the amount of this check that I am picking up today to split with my sister, he would be over the moon with pride that he was able to make ours and our childrens lives a little easier.

My dad was very big into taking vacations with us and his grandchildren and we have so many great memories of these times. Steve and I have decided to use this money to help the girls as they go through life and to use it for family vacations. This will help me to accept this money as I am having a very difficult time with it. I would give it back in a heartbeat to have both Dad and Jimmy back here with us, no question about it. That will never happen so the least I can do is spend the money the way my dad would have wanted me to....using it to enjoy life with my family and make memories that will last forever.

Memories are all that I have left of my Dad and I thank God that I have them.