So, the company is all gone, THANK GOD! Its not their fault, believe me, its all me. I don't know why I do what I do but I always seem to be sabotaging my weight loss efforts. I am starting to get "that feeling". You know the one I mean? The "this isn't going to work for me" feeling? Let me explain:
After my friends left today, I jumped on the scale, up two lbs. and than I hightailed it over to the gym. I walked for 45 minutes and burned 310 calories. Great, right? Wrong! I left the gym and went straight to Burger King! WTF? I had a Jr. Whopper (no mayo or cheese) but really? What was I thinking? According to myfitnesspal.com, the calorie count was 340. So, in this case the calories are not terrible as it keeps me at my daily 1200 level BUT the choice I made just plain SUCKED!
All I keep saying is that I can't wait until I get my fill on Monday but the fill isn't going to change how I think. Hopefully I'll get some restriction but what will stop me from going to BK again, getting a Jr. going home and pureeing it with added ketchup and drinking it with a straw? (Don't worry, I wouldn't really do this but still!) Is this where the "head band" comes in?
I know I am not experiencing anything new from what others have experienced. I have read this same theme in countless other blogs and I always empathized but man, until it happens to me, it really doesn't mean anything! Does this make me a self-centered bitch? I hope not!
I suppose the only saving grace for me right now is that instead of saying "screw it, I'll go back on the wagon tomorrow, I am putting what I did in writing and making the next thing I put in my mouth a good food choice!"
I haven't told my husband what I did yet, maybe later tonight. I just hate seeing the disappointment in his eyes. Maybe he'll read my blog and find out here. Either way he finds out, it is still an improvement over the "old me".
15 comments:
Back on the wagon baby!
I must say I do enjoy the mini chicken burgers at MCdonalds! Hehehe! JUST DONT GET THE FRIES!
Even with all the great blogs, sometimes it's hard for me to wrap my head around what me being with a band is going to look like. And then I read a post like yours and think "Yep, that will probably be me." I know you've heard it before, but you need to give your head a chance to catch up with your band. These little glitches are going to happen and the only suggestion I can offer is what I've done in the past when I was dieting. I would literally have a conversation in my head before I ate the thing that was calling me. I'd ask myself why I was making this bad choice and how was I going to feel after I ate it. Obviously more often than not I told myself to shut the hell up because if I had listented, I wouldn't be getting the band, but you get the idea. Sometimes our behaviors are on autopilot and if you step back a minute and really, really think about the choice you are about to make, you can sometimes talk yourself out of it. And for those times you can't, you blog about it and we give you little pearls of wisdom like this. :-)
Personally I can't see this as a lifechange of deprivation. If I want the BK jr. whopper, I'm gonna get it. Like Bonnie said, I'm gonna have the conversation in my head about WHY I'm choosing that. But sometimes a treat is a treat is a treat.
You gained two pounds. So what. Did you enjoy your time with your friends? Yes. Those two pounds will come off.
You ate a jr. whopper. And who eats a jr. whopper without cheese, anyway? Your calorie count is still where it's supposed to be for the day. So some calories came from fat which you hadn't alloted. So what. It's one meal. You cannot and will not eat perfectly every day day in and day out for the rest of your life. You absolutely MUST be able to eat these things on random and rare occasions. At least that's how I see it. As soon as I tell myself it's all off the list and I have to eat perfectly 100% of the time, I know I will fail. So I won't say that. Instead, I'll say, I am making the wisest choice most of the time.
It's ok. Back on the wagon tomorrow. But do not feel guilty for or regret this. Life is too short!
Just my two cents...
I agree 100% with the previous comments. I don't see ANYTHING wrong with your food choice. Sure it was probably a higher-than-normal-calorie item, but I bet it also had a bunch of protein. You stayed within your calorie goal for the day. That is a sucess in my book! If we've learned anything from years of dieting, it should be that diets don't work. The lap-band provides help keeping our portion sizes small and encouraging us to eat slowly and chew, chew, chew. Those are the keys - not depriving ourselves of food we love!
I am guessing that the reason you feel bad about your food choice is because it wasn't what you planned to eat or that you chose it depite feeling like you shouldn't. I say forgive yourself and move on. And for crying out loud, I hope you allowed yourself to ENJOY it! Otherwise what's the point, right?
You are doing GREAT, Jacquie. Its time to bury those old "diet" mindsets.
We ALL have WTF days lol! We ALL also have days where we doubt ourselves and our ability to "do this" But we CAN and we WILL! Hang in there Jacquie, your fill Monday should help a ton! Pretty soon, eating that Whopper won't be an option, simply because it won't go down. Makes it easier when the band decides and you don't have to. Good luck!
We walked 3miles yesterday, I came back and had an ice cream sandwhich. It was light.....yep thats how I rationalize. Don't beat yourself up.
Here is the good news... now that I am at full restriction, I could NEVER eat a burger. So, I have interest in that burger cause it wouldn't be worth trying to get down.
I also think it is okay to eat a burger... just make a decision to do it, don't do it on impulse.
You will do great, honestly!
Um sweetie - me, Draz and Sheniqua are on our way there...is the bed ready? And chocolate on my pillow too? Kidding - take a break - put your feet up - no regrets. Smooches.
Any of my band/no band sisters are always welcome at Villa Jax!
don't beat yourself up too much. Hop back on that wagon...and while you're at it, confess you food sin at http://www.MyFoodConfession.com
:)
For some reason we just self-sabotage ourselves. I found it's helpful before you do it to stop and really think why you want it. One every once in a while won't hurt, but when it becomes habitual, is when we start going down that slippery slope. hang in there..you can DO it!!
Its so hard. we all make bad choices. Its trying to not make a string of bad choices that counts. Also, keep in mind that this is not a diet. A burger once a month/6weeks is not a bad thing, its LIFE!
And if you are like me, you need some restriction.
P.S. I had schnitzel with a cream sauce for dinner tonight.
It could have been a super value meal with the works, so there's always a positive. Good attitude about making the next choice a good one.
I bought and have been eating Cheese-Its today. Justified them because they are "low fat". I think we're even.
Unfortunately it all sounds normal to me...I think we try to test this band and almost dare it to fail...when it doesn't we stop sabatouging ourselves....you are doing so well Jacquie...can't wait to meet you
Shake it off girlfriend...one Jr. Whopper does not a catastrophe make.
Tomorrow's another day.
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