'Our Father, who art in Heaven,...I have been a very good girl and I would like to lose weight this week...Amen'
Lets see if this works!
I am going to the gym this afternoon and meeting with the trainer tomorrow. I am planning on at least 4 sessions at the gym this week maybe even 5. Hopefully, if the stall on the scale this past week was due to my increased exercise, my bod will start letting go some of my FAT this week! A girl can hope right?
I have a doctors appt next Thurs. 7/1 for a fill. It will be my third one and hopefully the one that gets me in the "zone". It will also only be 3 weeks since my last fill so I hope I am not rushing things along by going so soon. He wanted to see me in 4 weeks but I couldn't make it than and it would have been 6 weeks before I could get there again. He has been very aggressive with my first 2 fills so I'm thinking this next one will be a smallish one. We'll see.
I had a few "moments" on Fathers Day but came to the realization that God spared my husband Steve for a reason and I really need to move forward in my healing process. A major issue for me is that my husband has motorcycling in his blood as did my father and BIL. I have always enjoyed riding with him. Not so much the "riding" aspect of it but more of the closeness of having my arms around him and spending time with him. The only other person I rode on a motorcycle with in my life was my Dad. I felt safe with him as I do with Steve. The problem is, I don't feel safe anymore and I suffer from anxiety now when he goes out on his bike.
I am going to make it my mission to find a therapist who can help me work through these issues. The motorcycle was always a source of pleasure for me and now all it represents is pain. Because it means so much to my husband, I have to deal with this before it becomes a problem for my marriage. My initial thought is "I no longer feel safe on the motorcycle so you should feel the same way and respect my wishes and just sell the damn thing". For some reason, he doesn't feel the same way and I have to make sure that this doesn't become a major issue between us.
9 comments:
Sending you good vibes for weight loss this week. I can really relate to you about the motorcycle issue! My dad has been a rider for over 50 years. My husband wants on so bad he can taste it. I have been secretly dragging my feet about John getting one. Especially after hearing of your family's tragedy, I am so gun shy about riding. I have only been riding with my dad also. I always ask him to please be careful and he always says he will, but it's the other people I worry about. I seem to have a lot of anxiety about so many things lately, hence the therapist! Good luck Jacquie. XOXO
It sounds like a great plan to find a therapist. It's no wonder you have anxiety, I know it won't be easy, but I'm sure you can work through all of this. My prayer has changed to a prayer for patience. I know it will come off, just not always on my schedule. I'm sure you'll do great.
I would feel the same way that you do. I'm sure that Steve understands and I agree that you should go to therapy, but you have to cut yourself some slack too. Its not like this happend years ago. We torture ourselves with the "what ifs". I think you are making the right decision with the therapy, just don't be so hard on yourself.
I think it is incredible that you have recognized that an issue COULD arise and are already starting to take action. That is real personal awareness!
with the fills, three weeks is fine. I know after a few days if my fill is 'working' or not and I wish they'd get me in right then and there! I go in on Friday for my next fill too and I'm going to have to beg them to be aggressive!
I didn't start seeing real weightloss until my 5th fill. The first two were not felt at all, but IT WILL HAPPEN. You began at a LOW BMI, like me, your losses will be slower than others with more to lose...just a fact of life unfortunately :(
Hi Jacquie
I feel for you and your issues with the motorcycle. I myself am scared of them as I know too many people who have been hurt. But I also know a lot of people that absolutely love it and their life wouldn't be complete unless they could ride. Your fears are founded my dear -- you are on the right track to figuring out what will work for you in the future.
As far as fills go my second one seemed to work for me. I can't imagine being filled more than I am now - I can still eat but no more than a cup at a time. Hope this one is your magic fill!!!
AMEN sista!
I hope you can work through the motorcycle stuff. It is still pretty recent so hope it gets better with time. A therapist should help. Also great about getting a personal trainer. I see my new one on Thursday and want to get back into a routine. Good luck.
Amen to your prayer...
Good luck with your trainer...quite an ambitious workout schedule for the week...way to go.
Also, make sure to find a great therapist...it'll make all the difference in the world instead of just "finding somebody."
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